Quite the drop from the weekend which leads me to wonder if I was retaining water as if it was my time of the month. Or "shark week" as one of my BFFs refers to it.
You see - I haven't had a period since I had my youngest child. Sometimes breast-feeding women can go up to a YEAR without a period. But this weekend I was has having MAD chocolate and salt cravings.
Can't recall if I've said anything here about this but I think part of the reason I can really lose weight at this point is that life is emotionally sound and secure for me these days.
A likely contributor to my weight gain was a subconscious desire to protect myself from the world. To insulate myself from pain and abuse. To create a protective barrier of fat between me and those who might be dangerous or hurtful.
Another thing was the fact that I had really, really, REALLY wanted another child but because of my weight (and other factors) it was highly unlikely to happen so I think that subconsciously I was keeping the weight on so that way I could look at it like this, "I can't even CONSIDER having a baby unless I get my weight under 200 lbs."
Instead of like this, "Hubs doesn't really want to have another baby and the DRs have made it perfectly clear that it would be dangerous for me to try to have another baby at any weight but near to impossible at this weight."
Of course, as it turns out, the DRs were incorrect and we had our lovely, surprise baby.
Which made/makes me really happy. So now I don't need to hang on to the protective fat as a way to deny my ultimate desire because I have my last baby and I am overjoyed.