In the past, part of doing that was a way to try and balance out the fact that there were things in my own life that I couldn't make sense of or control or change and so I thought that if I could help my friends in any way that I could -- I was doing an awesome thing because although I lived through some situations where I had no one during the worst of it, I would do my best to make sure that no one I cared about had to do that.
Did you follow that?
Now - in my past, I would do that even going beyond the point of ignoring aspects and areas of my own life.
It was always easier for me to place the needs of others above my own.
I think one of the things I have learned in my life is how to create some boundaries as well as learning how to address things that concern me.
One of the biggest things I tend to do in my life is to talk about things. I think about them. I analyze them. I blog about them.
Some things take a very long time for me to put them into the world.
And some things have never seen the light of day.
But, overall, when I look back upon where I was emotionally in my past - I've changed far more than anyone other than myself can realize.
Sometimes I think that the only way that my inner changes will show to the world is through the way that my body looks.
Because it really is all connected.
I do not eat my feelings anymore. Though I still have the urge to -- but it's controllable now. And I believe that soon, that urge, that need, that compulsion will leave me.
There are still many things I need to do on this journey of mine.
Still to come (and in no particular order):
- lose more weight
- start writing outside of my blog again
- try new activites
- learn to cook
- clean and organize my house (and then maintain it that way!)
- pay attention to my inner self and respect myself
- learn to "girlify" myself a bit more
- lead by example within my family re: positive change
A new beginners belly dance class starts on Monday, Feb 28th... guess who is signing up for 9 weeks?????
That's right - ME!!!!
I loved the line that you typed: "I do not eat my feelings anymore". That says so much! Cheers, Rick
ReplyDeleteI like your list...I have alot of those same things on mine!
ReplyDeleteLoved this post. Love that you are headed to belly dancing class. xo GP
ReplyDeleteWell said! Have fun belly dancing!
ReplyDeleteSarah
notaneffingdiet.blogspot.com
Not eating your feelings anymore - what an accomplishment.
ReplyDeleteAwsome that you are starting something new like that class. I am too working on not eating my feelings. I am trying to get into journal writing I am just struggling to find the time (as a mom of a young child you know how it is)
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on finding a Belly dance class - good for you! I think you're going to have a great time with it! :D
ReplyDeleteAnd what a great realization about "eating your feelings" - that's a great way to put it, and good for you for being strong enough to NOT do it!!!