Posty today...

So I read a blog post that Stacy wrote... in it she linked to this article and within that article, I am going to re-post the following:

In the course of detailed interviewing of about 2000 obese patients over the past 20 years, in-depth and often repetitively over time, we have noted several recurrent findings:

• It is rare for anyone to be born obese. In 2000 adult obese patients, only one individual was born overweight, at 14 lb (6 kg), to a 550-lb (250-kg) mother, and she was slender throughout childhood and adolescence until age 20, when she married an alcoholic and suddenly began massive weight gains, ultimately matching her mother’s weight. “Born fat” is a defensive concept.

• A significant minority of our Program participants are born at subnormal weight because of prematurity.

• Obesity indeed runs in families, as does speaking the same language. It is the distribution pattern of body fat deposition that is genetically determined, not its presence.

• Major weight gain is typically abrupt, episodic, and life-event related.

• The forces underlying extreme morbid obesity are relatively easy to discern for those seeking them. They are qualitatively similar to those underlying mild overweight, though they are much harder to discern in the latter.

• The age at which weight gain first began is critically important because it allows one to inquire why it began then. Some patients will know and others will not want to know, but this is an essential point not to be dropped because of patient avoidance.

• Obesity commonly is beneficially protective: sexually, physically, and socially. This is an uncomfortably difficult point for many nonobese individuals to accept.

• Major weight loss may present a significant threat, usually to the person involved, but sometimes to others.

• Emotional support from others for major weight loss is uncertain.

I bolded the items which I would say apply to me.  The protective factor is one that I have spoken about here and there previously within this blog.

My maternal grandmother has struggled with obesity, my birth mom with significant weight changes (normal weight to underweight to obese to underweight to normal weight etc) and my half-sister is in a normal weight category though she has been underweight in the past.

I weighed 3 lbs and 11 oz when I was born (and yes, I was a preemie).

I was underweight as a child, normal weight as a teen (though I thought I was "fat).

I began to gain weight when I became sexually active as a teen, though not huge weight gains at that point.

I used to use alcohol and sex as a way to escape my negative emotions but once I was with Husband v1.0 (son's father) it was food that became my primary comfort/escape.

My weight jumped up when my marriage was bottoming out and my Mom died.

When I split from Hv1.0 - on the wkends when Son wasn't with me... I strayed a bit back into the drinking and sex version of comfort and escapism.

I had brought my weight down to 206.8 in 2006 but I had a bad relationship experience the end of that year and my weight began to go back up and continued to trend upwards when I got together with Hubs.

This time around I am trying to actually work through my feelings with thought, discussion, blogging and also use exercise and general activity as a method of release and that's why this time it's a permanent lifestyle change.

As well, my efforts to make myself more presentable when I face the world is something I never really tried to incorporate into my life before.

I want to set a positive example for my kids (but especially the girls since Son seems to have a fair amount of confidence in himself already whereas Step-Daughter is extremely socially awkward and has some major self-esteem issues).

Back in the day - I would work on my appearance only when I was going out clubbing - to either compete or try to keep up with my friends and/or to try to attract men.

Now I try to make an effort even if I am going out with Hubs and the kids, or my girlfriends or even just to the grocery store -- not because I want to pick someone up or anything like that but just because I think I deserve to look as pretty as I can because IT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD.

In that past, wanting to look good battled with an internal sense of shame... like I was being totally fake when I took some care with my appearance because I either felt that I didn't deserve to be pretty or that I was fooling myself and the rest of the world would be snickering and pointing and laughing at me.

A sad clown.

I am thankful that I don't feel that way now!