Sunday, December 12, 2010

Thoughts on individual choices

OK, I haven't been awake for very long so we'll see if I can make the thought in my head unfurl itself and grow into a post on my blog.

I know many people, at this time of year, can clash about their spiritual and/or religious beliefs just as I've seen people throughout my weight loss journey (thus far) clash about their method or ideology of weight loss, on whether the best approach is tough love or forgiveness or something in the middle...

I really think the comparable thing about weight loss and religion and/or spirituality (for some people - like myself, consider spirituality and religion to be separate and some see them as the same thing) is that we are ALL each on our own individual journey.

How we perceive and personalize our weight loss methodology can be compared to how we perceive and personalize our relationships with the Powers that Be (however you may choose to name them, He, She, It, Science, Nature, nothingness etc...

I am not here to rail on others about how they choose to lose, though I will respectfully comment out of concern in some cases.

And I am not here to try and enforce my own beliefs, be they about weight loss, Xmas, paganism, or the freakin' Tooth Fairy on others.

I am expressing thoughts and feelings about my own personal journey and on other things that I think and feel.

Some bloggers are very pro something and anti something else, some are blogging about keeping Christ in Christmas, some are blogging about not being into any sort of "holiday spirit", some are participating in various weight loss challenges from various sources, some are doing WW or Atkin's or are like me and just trying to do what seems to fit them best.

Why is there so much strife in the blogging world right now?

Why do sometimes people feel that using the internet gives them the right to be needlessly cruel or superior or just plain bossy?

I link blogs and bloggers and individual posts that make me think.

And I like to think that when I am linked, it happens in the same way.

I do not link blogs, bloggers or individual blog posts for people to mock or judge or humiliate.

Once, fairly early on in the life of this blog (if I recall correctly) I did comment specifically on an issue where a blogger I was reading had pulled things from the blog of a real life friend and made fun of that person.

I then commented on the blog post (where my reply was not posted) and then I also made a blog post here without naming or linking to my friend and without naming or linking to the person who mocked my friend.

So if you are following me or I am following you or both -- know that, that is not how this blogger works and know that I am not judging your religion, your faith, or your method of weight loss.

If I make a comment out of genuine concern or just confusion because I need to learn more about your choices - it will be respectful.

So, in the spirit of this post... I wish all of you the happiest of holiday seasons, no matter what you believe/worship/or abstain from participating in and I wish you all healthy choices and healthy weight changes going forward into the coming year.

Thanks for listening.


  1. Such a great post. *hugs*

    It is confusing out there right now. I'm confused and I've had some hate directed my way. Not nice and not what I want. I'm also concerned about people and struggle with knowing how to communicate that. This is a whole new ballgame for me. I've read blogs for years but because I never commented or had one of my own, I had very little emotional involvement. Now that's all changed and I feel somewhat ambivalent about it all. I've done some stupid things that I now regret and said a few things that I thought were funny but weren't (they weren't hateful or anything like that, just not very well-timed.) Anyway, I'll shut-up.

    Thank you.

    PS got a photo of my eye. No blindness ;-)

  2. ....

    I must admit, I don't know what to say.

    I know I get angry and angsty, very easily. I guess I just can't get over someone telling me I'm not doing enough in my weight loss journey, when they don't even know me.

    I know I'm blogging, and it's for all the world to see, but how can a blogger write something personal and not take offense when some one comments against them? It's like a previous commenter said, there is an emotional attachment once you start blogging about your feelings, and your emotions can take control of what you do.

    Since you asked a question on my blog, I think I am going to return the favor. :)
    How do you blog about something personal (such as weight loss or religion), and try to keep your emotions in check?

  3. Sometimes tone is very difficult to convey via the internet - I think that factors in to communications sometimes too.

    And good stuff re: eye pic and non-blindness!

    Are you going to post the pic in your blog?

  4. OK and now for the good question...

    How do I blog about anything personal and try to keep my emotions in check?

    Well, that's a tough one.


    I realize that putting my thoughts and feelings out here mean that I could get comments or replies that I don't care for or that may well be hurtful.

    I try to find the spirit within which the comments or remarks are intended, and if they are meant to be helpful and out of a place of kindness, love and genuine concern, I try to respond in kind and moderate my response and literary "tone" for internet consumption.

    Does that make sense?

    Whereas, when it is meant in a hurtful way or is indictative of a manner that a person always uses - I equate it to rudeness, a superiority complex, or just someone being (or trying to be) a bully and in that circumstance - I don't care what someone like that thinks because that is not the sort of person/blog/energy that I want around me.

    If the words come from someone I cannot respect, then why should those words have meaning to me?

    I find it easier to make that separation or distinction when it comes to the internet and find it far more difficult when dealing with people in "the real world" - but does that help explain it?

  5. That does explain it, enough at least that I think I understand you. :)

    I guess I need to work on that, myself.

    I hate being an emotional prick. For as long as I remember, I have cried at every little comment that rubbed me the wrong way. When I got to jr. high I learned it was better to be a prick back, instead of crying every time. So now that I'm online, I think I look at everything with a negative outlook.

    Gah, I wish I could change that.

  6. It's too bad that thinks like this have to be said, but I'm like you...sometimes it just needs to be put 'out there' so there is complete and utter clarification and zero misunderstanding on things. Everything was very well put!

  7. Thank Ellen, I do try to make myself clear because I am well aware of how the internet can make people and words and motivations sometimes difficult to interpret :)

  8. Love this post! I understand people wanting to be helpful when they care about someone elses success, but I think we need to take time to consider how our "help" is goin to be received. When it crosses the line from helpful and supportive to hurtful- whether it was intended or not, silence is best.