Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Eventually this becomes a "thank you for reading and understanding" post

The kind where you pause and say, "I'm ____ years old and I still don't know how to be what I want to be when I grow up."

For me - the number is 38.

When I was in kindergarten I wanted to be a Mom and a writer and over the years other things got added in, I think when I was 13 or so I wanted to be a Mom, a writer, an actress, a singer and a dancer.

The only things on that list that never changed were wanting to be a Mom and wanting to be a writer.

I have tons of unfinished fiction pieces, I have a lot of poetry, and I have some blogs.

Does blogging make me a writer?  (A poor, unpaid one, but a writer nonetheless???)

This is the main blog that gets my attention and I keep debating whether or not I should merge my main blog with this one but I have a main blog (mostly filled with hypothetical tumbleweeds at the moment), a poetry blog and a blog about my kids all affiliated with my non-anonymous life.

I have a Twitter account (that I rarely use), I have a Facebook, I have a real name that's not "Jayne Doe" or "FatAngryBlog" (though even on my other blogs, I don't use my real name because I get paranoid since at least on FB I can use privacy settings).

The reason I started this Fat, Angry Blog was because I wasn't ready to tell people in my real life about my weight loss journey.

I had a fear of failure and even a fear of being mocked for trying to change AGAIN and lose weight AGAIN.

Now my other blogs don't have many followers,  but I have always sort of separated my life and my identity into different pieces and certain pieces are what some of my acquaintances relate to and a few people get the whole package in all it's sarcastic, self-depreciating glory.

So I am still not ready now to merge the blogs, I have started to consider it.  Though the poetry/fiction should probably still stay on it's own even if I do decide to roll everything else into one in the future.

But I have to say that I am so pleased to have "met" so many wonderful people on this journey to health.  Some of you are in the same place I am, some of you are way ahead in maintenance-land and some of you are just starting out and I have to say that I learn things from and/or relate to all of you and I hope that you (the collective you) find the same things when you come here.

Thanks for listening, thanks for reading, thanks for understanding and thanks for commenting so I know I'm not just yelling into the wind!


  1. I wish you the best as you figure it all out.

    And yeah, if you are writing, then you are a writer. Keep working at it if it's what you love.

  2. It's hard to only write about weight loss when you have a life outside of that. Personally, I like reading how people fit weight loss into their lives (especially when you have kids and spouse that doesn't want to eat that diet crappy food).

    And I say if you are writing - no matter what it is - then you are a writer. If you enjoy it, keep it up!

  3. I rarely tell my friends that I'm doing this weight loss journey. I'm not sure why--probably because of the failure factor too. People see me, they notice a difference--I can tell, but they never say anything. No one knows about my blog but my blog readers are so supportive tha I wouldn't have it any other way!!

  4. It's hard to find that balance between your "real" life and blogland. I share limited details of my personal life (i.e. my real first name, my children's ages, my husband's name, etc). That is mostly because there are folks following my blog that I don't "know." However, I do have people from my "real" life following my blog.

    I made the decision that for me, having folks in my real life reading it made me more accountable. And if I hear someone say to me, "You're trying to lose weight AGAIN?" I'd probably tell them where to shove it. I just don't have room in my life for unsupportive people. Life is too short!

    Of course, that's all a very personal decision, and I wish you well in making it. I, for one, really enjoy this blog and am happy to have found it!!

  5. I'm backreading (obviously) and I can't believe I missed some of these great posts! I think you should definitely consider merging your blogs....I can't believe you handle more than one AND kids a the same time. That deserves some kind of medal.

  6. Thanks Ellen! I think maybe once I am closer to goal, that would be the best time to consider merging the blogs.