Sunday, October 17, 2010

Last night

I slept like complete shit.

Baby Girl was up every couple of hours. Hubs was horny and having a hard time sleeping because I was too tired for any "adult fun". And I was having completely whacked out dreams.

You'd have thought I'd been consuming illegal substances or was really, really drunk or SOMETHING had you been able to join me in my dreamscape last night.

I'm sitting here, listening to the coffeemaker in the kitchen and Baby Girl babbling happily to herself while the silly orange cat is attacking a purple crayon and Hubs is out walking the hairy beast.

Son is quietly playing with Lego.

And I need to eat something (or drink a smoothie).

But instead, here I am - reading and blogging.

I think Hubs is afraid this is an obsession for me or something. I mean I use a food scale, I write down what I eat if I am not near a com to add it to my food diary on and I am slowly taking off weight while also slowly increasing my activity level.

I worry about having milk issues quite a bit now that Baby Girl has started on some solids and have been debating whether or not I should try the Organic MilkMaid Tea that I have not needed to open yet.

And I've been thinking about a lot. It's something I was talking to my therapist about back in 2009 and I've noticed some other bloggers talking about it as well.

I seriously thought it was only me.

I know, I know - how ridiculous. It's so strange to me that so many other bloggers and dieters and lifestyle changers have similar feelings and experiences.

My life so far has kind of taught me to view myself as an oddity because there have not often been others in my life who could relate.

Well, welcome to the internet.

Call me naive but I really had no idea that this time around, I wouldn't feel as "alone" in my journey.

So - to those who are helping me - even if they don't realize it - Thank you!


  1. That's the funny thing about people. We all think we're the only one going through stuff or thinking a certain way ... and then we find out that we are not actually alone. It's kinda sad ... but it's mostly comforting.
    Life is challenging enough, we need to build each other up, not tear each other down.
    So, as always, I'm happy to lend my support.
    Keep up the good work "Jayne" ... you will achieve your goals one day. And then we can celebrate ... with a new wardrobe perhaps???? :)

  2. Thanks for telling us about fat secret.

  3. Don't worry about me. I'll survive.
    Love Hubs

  4. Omg, I am glad you commented on my blog and I found your's. I too feel so blessed for the internet and this circle of blogger as I don't feel lonely starting a weight loss plan again! Keep it up!

  5. @Sandy - that would be nice, though I'll be happy to fit into some of my old things...

    @Karen - I really like fatsecret!

    @Hubs - I love you!

    @M.O.F. - I feel the same way! :)