Sunday, December 12, 2010

It's been a bit of a day...

Hubs has been gone since before 9 a.m. (had to drive Step-Daughter home and then he went to some sports card show near TO).

Baby Girl is napping.

Son was making me NUTSO today! I kept asking him (and then telling him) to be quiet because he was really rambuntious and noisy today and I was just too tired and headachey to listen to it.

I put on some movies so he and I could cuddle but he just was super-hyper today.

Now he is out sledding with his friends and their parents, who are in the BFF crew and are also Baby Girl's godparents.

I've been moving furniture all afternoon trying to decide what I wanted to do in the living room since our aforementioned BFFs called and asked if we wanted one of those cabinets that you can put a TV in.

I said yes and then realized that gave me an excuse to try to mess around with the layout in here.

However; the layout of our townhouse is kind of odd (imo) and makes it tricky to deal with.

Anyway, so I did moved a few things (some more than once) before I finally decided what I wanted to do in here and then I decided to dust a couple of things.


*waits for collective gasp of disbelief from my IRL peeps who read this blog*

Yes, that's what I said.

So I dusted off a wine decanter that's also a music box (that plays "How Dry I Am") which is the only memento I have of my late godparents.

Then I dusted off a bell, a photo frame and an angel.

All of those items relate to my late Mom.

The bell always resided in one of her china cabinets when I was a kid - I thought it was a bell that I had bought for her as a gift when I was little but I suspect the one I gave her was broken at some point in time and this is one from somewhere else.

The photo frame has a 5x7 that I took of Mom holding Son (a larger version of the photo was placed atop her coffin during her funeral) and a 5x7 of Son at Mom's grave when he was a little older.

The angel is one of four keepsakes from her coffin. The one we picked out for her funeral had 4 removable angels as keepsakes so each of us has one.

And I just started bawling.

It kind of hit me all over again just how much it sucks that my Mom is gone and that she isn't here, in the physical sense, to see how her favourite "Little Man" is growing up and that Baby Girl is never going to be rocked by her Grandma H. in the rocking chair where all the other grandchildren were rocked at one point in time.

And I haven't cried like this in awhile.

Since the tears started, my nose has been running like crazy and I'm having to still cry quietly because I don't want to wake up Baby Girl but I really feel like just blubbering like a little kid.

And instead of grabbing comfort food - I'm blogging.


  1. I'm so sorry it's been a rough day. It always hits us in strange times, eh? Good for you on blogging rather than eating!

  2. *big hug* I'm so sorry the loss of your Mom is hitting so hard today. And good for you for not turning to the comfort food!

  3. Thank you, ladies!

    I think part of it hitting me today to might be because in moving the furniture I am trying to make a space for our artificial Xmas tree and that always reminds me how much my Mom and I disliked Xmas after my Dad died and how I only really celebrate it for the kids - until I had Son -- I didn't bother with Xmas in my own home because it still makes me feel sad.

    I think I'll edit this post to add a couple of pics of what I was talking about...

  4. It must be an emotional day for both of us. I cried while reading your post. I'm sorry to hear about your Mom. I know sorry is never enough to hear. Hopefully, tomorrow is a better day.

  5. Well then, thank goodness for your blog today. It sounds like you had just the kind of day that would have been a good enough excuse to grab the food, but you didn't and I'm proud of you. Maybe you just needed to mourn a bit more. It's easy to get swept up in life and then the more time that passes, the less we feel like we should 'still be thinking about it'. There is no end to grieving though, I don't think. Some days it just comes up to the surface like yours did today. Hope you're feeling better by now. Have a restful night :)

  6. Thank you, TFM *hug* and thank you, Ellen *hug* it's true sometimes I feel like the world thinks their is an expiration date on grief... but for me, there isn't - although it is easier to bear on a day-by-day basis as time moves on.