Looking towards tomorrow

Personal training appointment in the morning!!!!!

:>:>:>

Now that I've gotten the "all clear" from the cardiologist I can finally use those sessions I purchased via dealfind.com!

I have to go early-ish in the a.m. so I can make it home before Hubs goes to work (he's working 11-8 tomorrow)  and so I can grab a shower while he watches the kids before he heads out.  Then I take Little Man to swimming lessons and I'm not sure what else is on the agenda for tomorrow.

I don't think I can fit in trip to the Farmer's Market (because it gets busier the closer it gets to noon) so that might have to wait until Thursday.

Lastly, I am going to try and upload the video that 1G1D1Y took of Little Man last wk... though I do not promise it will work.

Always consult your DR

Until I have my cardiac stress test, I am walking and doing "normal" things but not over-exerting myself just in case.

Dave was really great about me postponing my first training session until after I have my cardiac stress test and the results and he told me that when I do come in for my first session there is a form I have to fill out about having DR approval to begin the training.

Sometimes we forget to look after ourselves and sometimes we might want something so much that we will disregard any potential consequences.

I am nervous about my upcoming cardiac stress test but it would be far worse if I hadn't mentioned my concerns to my DR because who knows what could have happened?

With the weight I've lost so far, I increased my activity but never talked to my DR about it until Tuesday.

I never even THOUGHT of talking to my DR about it.  Yes, I know - I see those warnings about talking to your DR about any new exercise or meal plan but I didn't think it really mattered but it does matter and it can impact you.

My Mom used to always say, "It's better to be safe than be sorry."

She was right.

This also fits right in with the blog post one of my BFFs, 1G1D1Y wrote earlier today.

Read it.

I went to GreenFit today!

OK so you might recall that I mentioned there was an awesome deal for 4 personal training sessions that I purchased via www.dealfind.com the other day.  Well I went to my first appointment at GreenFit Health & Fitness which was, essentially, an information and fact-gathering session for Dave.

Although I was pretty anxious and nervous about going, I had a nice pep talk call from K. before I went and, really, Dave is really nice and the vibe/energy at GreenFit was positive and comfortable.

Nervous me, before heading to GreenFit...

I wish I could've been doing a vlog for y'all to show some of the movements that Dave had me doing for him to get an idea of my strengths and weaknesses. 

I think you'd have been rather amused and I was laughing quite a bit at myself.  Partly from nerves and self-consciousness and partly because I knew I needed work and partly just because I am ready, willing and able to laugh at myself.

There was actually a great quote on this week's ep of Cougar Town delivered perfectly by Brian Van Holt as Bobby Cobb: "Just remember, you can't hear the world laughing at you if you're laughing harder."

I think that statement really spoke to me because no matter how shitty life has been, I have always been able to laugh at myself.

Anyways, as uncoordinated and balance-challenged as I may be -- I enjoyed myself today and I go back for my first actual session on Tuesday.

Happy me after getting home...

Man, Tuesday is going to be a busy day... my physical, a haircut and a workout.

Speaking of hair... Baby Girl is finally starting to grow some more hair and get a bit of curl-action happening...

What else has been going on?

Well -- Hubs had his follow-up with the DR and we are happy to say that he has no more swimmers so hurray for the return of "adult fun time"!!!!

Yesterday I had fun with S-girl, running some errands - diving through a gigantic DVD bin searching for "The Goonies" for $5 (and yes, we both got a copy!) and hanging out.

Son scored an awesome solar system for his bedroom light (Thanks to Auntie S-girl) and a Thor hammer to go with his Thor helm (thanks to moi).

I need to go out today because we are out of lactose-free milk (for everyone except Baby Girl) and I am almost out of my Special K (still not as good as Honey Nut Cornflakes - which I can't find anywhere these days) but tasty.

Hmmn, and last but not least, I was a little bummed that Ellen didn't get much feedback on her wonderful post here yesterday but I'm still really glad she posted :)

Hope everyone is having a good day!

On a rainy day

Good morning, my friends!

It's raining like crazy here but Baby Girl and I are going to be hanging out with S-girl this morning.  Hubs has his DR appt and Son is at school.

Tomorrow, you will be treated to the first ever guest-blogger post on my blog.  And it will be from my friend, Ellen from Fat Girl Wearing Thin.

Yesterday Son had one of his scary meltdowns and he actually jumped up on my back and hit me. 

It's times like this where I really worry about what will happen as he gets older...

What else has been going on?

I was out yesterday morning for a bit.  Oh and I signed up for a dealfind.com deal yesterday... $39 for 4 Sixty Minute Personal Training Sessions and a Fitness Consultation at GreenFit Health & Fitness ($375 Value)

For that price, I thought it was worth trying in the hopes that some of the things I do/learn are ones I can then continue to do at home without any personal trainer.

My calf is slowly feeling better and I hope to resume C25K with K training this week.  Even if it's just walking or stairs for me while she gets some actual running done.

What else?

I just had a total mind blank.

OK I'm posting this entry.  Sorry I'm a bit scattered.

General catching up

Last night was the annual general meeting at the co-op I live in.

I think it went fairly well (although I did miss a chunk of the meeting while helping to count votes for the elections we needed to do).

We elected 5 new people to our Board of Directors (I am into my 4th year of serving on the board and am, once again, the President of the BOD) and our first board meeting with the new Directors is slated for the evening of Baby Girl's 1st birthday.

Today I made it out to the rec centre with 1G1D1Y and M. (and her smiley little man).  They did a hell of a lot of stairs and some walking and I did a good chunk of walking plus a measly 210 stairs (only counting going up the stairs and not down).

I ran one lap but my pants kept falling down, they were even sliding a bit when I was coming up the stairs.

Note to self:  retire any of my exercise pants that are XL - stick with the Ls!

Later this evening, our insurance adjuster is coming to pick up our claim-related paperwork.

You see, part of the way my anxiety and panic "presents" is me having a large issue doing paperwork.   S-girl and 1G1D1Y and even K. can attest to the fact that I am the worst person EVER for procrastinating on things involving paperwork.

Once S-girl did 4 or 5 years of my tax returns at once because I'd just ignored them for so long -- I got back a nice chunk of change, but I just really, really REALLY hate paperwork like that.

It's also, in part, why I ignored the advice of my friend (who was also my therapist for awhile) re: filing for disability when I was morbidly obese on top of my mental health issues (panic disorder, anxiety disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, depression and agoraphobia specific to crowds).

You see, the idea of having to submit details about my life for approval or even review makes me want to punch someone.

It makes me antsy and nervous and frankly, freaks me the hell out.

So I've been dragging my feet re: the paperwork re: the fire claim because it brings back all the stress and anxiety I was feeling at that time and compounds it.

Did any of you follow that?  Or did you just sort of nod to yourself that I can be a bit of a nutter?

Strangely - even WRITING (just now) about how that makes me feel has my neck and shoulder throbbing, my head aching and my heart palpitating.

*sigh*

Tomorrow, barring scads of snow, 1G1D1Y and I are off to see Dr. W.

It will be Son's first Kung Fu class on a Saturday (he switched class dates and times when he advanced to his solid orange belt) and then he's off to his father's.

I'm still struggling to find a good routine for getting things done around the house - and I'm hoping Hubs and I can really sort something out so we can really make a difference around here.

Step-Daughter and Son would probably both greatly benefit from a more orderly household, plus we'd really like to get them used to a happier and more organized home.

With Hubs and I both being the so-called favoured or spoiled youngest ones in our families (not counting my birth family of course) - neither of us were raised to take care of ourselves or our possessions or our areas of control (rooms, bookcases etc) and we don't want Step-Daughter, Son or Baby Girl having these same difficulties when they grow up.

But what is it to be "grown up?"

I still feel pretty young on the inside...

Consuming my liquids - a struggle

OK so I was doing really well for awhile with drinking my water and all of that. Then I started to sruggle a bit. The water is less appealing. Especially since it's cold and yucky.

So I started drinking more tea - because tea is warm and comforting and that was fine but what I did not realize was that I was drinking a LOT of caffeniated tea.

Sent Hubs to the grocery store today and now I have some decaf green tea and lemon herbal tea (I make a pot of tea using one bag of each) and I drink the whole pot (4 cups).

I think that now that I've got decaf that I can drink two pots a day (8 cups) and then drink cold water for the rest.

Hopefully this helps me feel back on track.

I am also nervous because back in 2006 when I lost weight, I started to plateau between 208 - 220 lbs and I never broke through to ONEderland.

So, I've been slacking on my EA Sports Active since I've been hitting the track and I really need to work on my daily time-management a bit more.

Today the plan is some time on the elliptical and an EA Sports Active workout.

Wish me luck!

it's 6:27 a.m.

I was up breast-feeding Baby Girl at 2:40 and then she didn't go to sleep until almost 3:30.  Then was up with her again at 5:30.

Going to the rec center in minutes with 1G1D1Y and S-girl should be meeting us there.

How's that for shocking.

I got up early to exercise!

2 trips to the rec center today

For a total of 1 hr and 48 minutes of walking.

Did over 5 k my first time there - but less the second time I went though... 1G1D1Y and M were feeling a bit rough and I was a little tired.

I had been thinking about a potential blog post when I was walking and once I got home - poof, it went right out of my head.

Maybe it'll come back to me???

For now - I bid you all a good night.

30 days of photos - Day 4

OK so it's "early evening" rather than "night (as I am starting this post at 6:40 p.m.)

4. A picture of your night

I bought this Wii program today at Future Shop where it was on sale for $59.99 down from $99.99


It's called EA Sports Active 2.0 personal trainer

http://www.ea.com/ca/games/easports-active-2

http://www.ea.com/games/ea-sports-active-2

It comes with a heart rate monitor that straps to your left forearm and this other one that straps to your right thigh and a resistance band. Oh and this lil usb stick thingy that you put into the back of the Wii.

It was more intense than the Wii Fit Plus stuff and I actually enjoyed it overall (though the monitor on my right leg kept turning off - I think I might have been banging it with my arm or something).


So that's  what I was doing earlier this evening while Hubs had Son at Kung Fu and Baby Girl was bouncing here beside me in her Fisher-Price Jumperoo.


Still to come:
5. A picture of your favourite memory

6. A picture of a person you’d love to trade places with for a day

7. A picture of most treasured item

8. A picture that makes you laugh

9. A picture of a person who has gotten you through the most

10. A picture of the person you do the most fucked up things with

11. A picture of something you hate

12. A picture of something you love

13. A picture of your favourite band or artist

14. A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without

15. A picture of something you want to do before you die

16. A picture of someone who inspires you

17. A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently

18. A picture of your biggest insecurity

19. A picture of you when you were little

20. A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel

21. A picture of something you wish you could forget

22. A picture of something you wish you were better at

23. A picture of your favourite book

24. A picture of something you wish you could change

25. A picture of your day

26. A picture of something that means a lot to you

27. A picture of yourself and a family member

28. A picture of something your afraid of

29. A picture that can always make you smile

30. A picture of someone you miss

Already done:

1. A picture of yourself and 15 facts.

2. A picture of you and person you’ve been the closest with the longest

3. A picture of the cast of your favourite show

Great work out tonight

So 1G1D1Y and M. and myself have been working out on Monday and Wednesday nights.

It's a lot of fun, but we're still working hard and sweating but we aren't injuring ourselves which was, unfortunately, the case for 1G1D1Y and I when we were in that boot camp together since the instructor just did not seem to understand that 1G1D1Y and I did need some accommodations to how certain things were done re: our knee issues and other variables.

But I enjoy the atmosphere and energy because the 3 of us get along well and we keep each other motivated (though of the 3 of us, I am the biggest slacker because I forget to breathe).

Seriously, I ALWAYS forget to breathe!

I don't know why it's so damn hard, but I am concentrating so hard on trying to do the moves right that I forget to breathe.

Sometimes I am such a goof.

OK, Baby Girl is screeching -- I guess it's time to head upstairs.

G'night my friends!

2nd workout with the girls

Another good workout!

Tonight we worked more on core - though since we only had 2 yoga balls and my balance sucks, I threw in some weight reps with my two 10 lb hand weights for myself.

We had some music and some laughter.

I am horribly uncoordinated so that can be kind of funny.

Am having a post-workout smoothie and I am hoping to see a drop again tomorrow but since tonight was cardio-lite rather than heavy -- I may be in for disappointment.

Going to head upstairs with Hubs (Son is in bed already) and probably watch "Mike & Molly" while I breast-feed Baby Girl.

Tired today

But am getting together with 1G1D1Y and her bestie, M to do some working out tonight.Of course, I sliced into the top of my left pinky finger today while cutting an avocado to mash up for Baby Girl.

I have a headache and I am tired.

Tomorrow night I have a meeting and our new (cheap) couch and loveseat are supposed to be delivered just before I have to go to my meeting.

Baby Girl has been SUPER CRANKY and full of snot today (seriously, her nose is running like a faucet!)

Blah!

from the x-weighted website

Paul Plakas’ Sample
Circuit Workout
Circuit training is great for fat loss, muscle building and heart-lung fitness. We have listed a
sample circuit below to get you started. Complete the number of minutes or repetitions (reps) specified for each exercise.
Sample Circuit Training course
1 to 2 minutes skipping rope
15 to 20 reps of squats
15 to 20 reps of push-ups
1 to 2 minutes of jumping jacks
15 to 20 reps of lunges
15 to 20 reps of dumbbell rows
1 to 2 minutes of step-ups
30 to 60 seconds in plank position
15 to 20 reps of dumbbell shoulder presses
1 to 2 minutes of skipping
30 to 60 seconds of side plank position
15 to 20 reps of tricep bench dips
1 to 2 minutes of jumping jacks
15 to 20 reps of standing dumbbell bicep curls
15 reps per side of a dumbbell wood chop
1 to 2 minutes of step-ups
*If you are unsure of how to do an exercise, please consult a fitness professional at your local fitness centre.

Day 117 -- Hubs let me sleep in!

Good morning, here I am, rolling out of bed at almost 10:30 a.m.

I'm nursing Baby Girl as I type.

Weight:  237.4 lbs

Yesterday was a rough day.  Son had an issue at school, an old friend had to finally decide to discontinue efforts to keep his father alive, and I felt kind of crappy all day but I still went to boot camp.

And I am glad that I did (although I am a bit sore today).

My friend losing his father was the worst... I have met his father only a few times during a friendship that spans 16 years and his Dad was very cool, and funny :)

After boot camp last night I had a bit of a cry on the drive home and I deliberately drove past the house I grew up in and gave into some sadness about the loss of my own parents.

Then I came home, had a post workout smoothie and caught up on some of the shows on my PVR.

Day 99 - Body dyslexia, weight update and "getting fit is pricey!" - thank you MasterCard!

Let me start with the good.

The Good

Weight: 242.6 lbs

The Bad (for my financial situation)

I am taking Vitamin D, B12 sublinguals, flaxseed powder already and today I bought:

• 300 g of Ultimate High Alpha Whey Protein
• 500 ml of Nutra Sea Omega 3 liquid
• 20 ml of Bach Rescue Remedy drops

add the tax and those 3 items were a hefty $103 and change.

The boot camp is $140.

The naturopath is sliding scale based on income (thank the universe!) but getting healthy is not only a toll on the body but on my Mastercard.

But,:  "Getting healthy and losing weight for life -- PRICELESS."

And now,

The Ugly.

I have body dyslexia.  I don't actually know if there is such a thing but as a completely uncoordinated likelong klutz, I am claiming this designation.

When exercising, I got completely lost with directions on right and left and opposites.  This is why I have never taken dance lessons and why work out videos make me swear.

It's all very confusing and I quickly get overwhelmed, frustrated and lost.  As a kid I was even bad with those clapping games like "Miss Sue" et cetera.

This was why I loved being in the goth/alternative scene.  The clothes and music was fantastic and you could be yourself..  I love dancing when it's unstructured because I can't learn choreography and I can express myself well with my body.

Getting healthy will allow me to do that again.

my first night of Ultra Ladies Boot Camp is tonight

And I feel like puking.

I'm not sick but I am feeling VERY anxious!  Another Mom from Son's school is in it (besides one of my BFFs) and I was hoping for anonymity, if you know what I mean.

In all likelyhood I will be one of the largest women in the camp and that makes me feel exposed.

Got to spend the day getting myself prepared, mentally, and then hope I don't collapse physically.

Wish me luck!

Walked to vote

So it's 1 km (according to Google maps) from our residence to where we needed to vote.  That took us 10 minutes to walk, pushing Baby Girl in the stroller each way so I got 20 minutes of walking in and I had a voice in the election which means I can bitch about how things turn out if I don't like them.

I firmly believe that if you do not choose to exercise your right to vote - then you forfeit your right to complain about what the government/elected officials choose to do.

Two of the other issues we had to vote on today was re: whether or not our city should keep fluoridating our water (I voted "NO") and on whether or not our city and our adjoining city should talk about possible amalgamation (I voted "NO").

Tonight I am attending part 1 of 2 of a CPR training session.  I am feeling anxious about participating but I will overcome my anxiety and do it!

It's actually quite a busy week for me.

Monday and Tuesday night - CPR training.  Wednesday morning - meeting at Son's school. Wednesday night - boot camp. Thursday night - meeting. And Friday night Hubs is off to his parents' place while I stay home with Baby Girl and Son, since he is spending the day with Step-daughter on Saturday.

The issue is because Sunday is Halloween.  Baby Girl's first Halloween.  If we had Step-Daughter here this weekend, our concern is on returning her home (2.5 hrs drive from here with minimal traffic, usually 3 hrs) and then getting back here for Son and Baby Girl.

Whereas Step-Daughter's mother is concerned merely with what time we would have Step-Daughter back because Step-Daughter has a half-brother at her mom's house who will be having his first Halloween this year (he is 3 weeks younger than our Baby Girl).

So it ended up, after some other BS, that Hubs would just go to see Step-Daughter this weekend instead of her coming here.

That means that those of us staying home don't get to see Step-Daughter, MIL and FIL, and Nanny which is a bummer, but it is what it is.

Getting my 30 minutes in earlier rather than later

I am not good with exercising in the morning - especially with the lack of sleep happening in our home with Baby Girl lately.

I usually prefer to get in my exercise on the elliptical in the evening but I like to be alone and it's challenging to get Hubs to go upstairs with Baby Girl once Son is in bed because Hubs wants to look at sports-related things on the internet.

And I understand him wanting to do that - I spend a lot of time on weight-loss blogs and on fatsecret.com and all of that while he's down here during the day doing whatever.

But I really need to devote time to my journey and I don't think he always understands how it all relates or how doing something for the betterment of my health and my life is different than him wanting to read baseball blogs.

Maybe it's not different and he's right and I'm wrong...

Thoughts?

A head full of phlegm and a belly full of gas

OH MY GOD!

I feel horrible today. I am full of phlegm and gassy as hell from the damn Burger King onion rings I had last night.

:(

I skipped with the rope in the living room for the same amount of time as yesterday - 2 minutes, and then spat up a giant ball of phlegm into a tissue.

GROSS!

This is the first time I've felt actually SICK in awhile (not counting headaches, migraines or the times when I've banged some part of myself into something hard and immobile).

Not sure how I am going to get my exercise in today but right now I kind of feel like puking.

Skipping

So, I used to be awesome at skipping when I was a kid. Seriously, it was one of those things that even a pipsqueak like me could do.

I'm not talking Double Dutch or anything like that, but just skipping, with cross-overs and backwards cross-overs and being able to skip pretty fast as I recall.

Well, I've read it's a good thing to use to work out.

But there was no way I'd do it outside. Too much of me moves when I jump.

However; today I thought I'd see if I could skip in the living room without hitting anything and, guess what, I COULD!

That being said, my boobs were certainly not keen in moving around that way (but I was wearing a normal bra not a sports one) and I'm not as good at it as I used to be.

I managed to skip for 2 MINUTES. Yep, minutes.

But, rather than being discouraged, I am going to look at it like this...

I skipped for 2 minutes MORE today than I did yesterday!