Showing posts with label beliefs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label beliefs. Show all posts

Thursday, September 1, 2011

A bit on Spell Crafting - yes, that's what I wrote... it's part of my belief system

Little Man came upon me as I was reading some advice on spell-crafting and asked what I was doing.

I told him that I was contemplating some spell work to help strengthen my will and resolve while I've been having a tough time, emotionally.

He said that he wished there was a spell that would help him make good choices.

That got me thinking.

So, I asked him to bring me his stones and I thought of the ones he has, that the green calcite was the best choice (after re-checking "The Crystal Bible.")

Each day he is going to take 9 minutes and hold the stone in his hand, imaging that he is having a great day.

He is going to hold it in his receptive hand and say,

"I will use this stone to balance my mind and soothe my soul, allowing me my self-control, counting minutes, 3 by 3, as I will, so mote it be."

And he will hold it for 9 minutes.

I think holding that intention will help and that is part of what I need to do for myself.

Am debating if a self-esteem/self-empowerment spell would be good on the night of the next full moon as well as a weight loss spell for the waning moon.

re: self-esteem/self-empowerment and general health and well-being, well this one is trickier for me to think of.  I have to be careful with my wording and intentions and it's harder for me to focus on this while feeling the way that I do, if you know what I mean.

re: weight loss, I was thinking the most I'd like to lose would be 78 lbs in a 6 month time span (13 lbs per month)

I came across a spell I liked here and I can tweak the words to something that accurately suits me and my intentions.

Any thoughts?

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Quick update

When I went to the Farmer's Market on Thursday with the kids & my sister, I picked up some stones. Decided to just see what felt good and then asked the merchant what they were.

I purchased the following:

  • Aquamarine
  • Citrine
  • Kunzite
  • Kyanite
I haven't yet had a chance to read up on them much to see what they tend to do - but there must be a reason that they felt right to me.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Update on past life regression

OK so I still haven't finished packing for my trip (that I leave for today) so this is going to be on the quick side...

Popped into 2 past lives at the regression appointment.

Dori, female, somewhere in England
  • poor family
  • younger brother, Tom (same soul as my daughter)
  • very ill mother, skinny, gray-skinned, coughing - died before Dori was 13
  • closest relationship was to Tom and then father
  • did not attend school until mother died but was smart and an excellent reader
  • if she left home she was afraid "something bad" would happen
  • Tom wouldn't learn his ABCs when he was 4
  • father worked somewhere dirty, all covered in black (coal or soot???)
  • father died of heart attack (& father was possibly same soul as my male ex-bestie of a decade)
  • Dori worked in a mercantile type of store but found it boring
  • Tom grew up and married a woman (same soul as my soul sister C.)
  • I married John (Hubs' soul) when I was an old maid of 28 - no kids
  • I spoiled and adored my 3 nieces, the youngest, Cassie was my fav (& had the same soul as my S-girl)
  • died of pneumonia when old (late 60s or early 70s)
Joe, from a town named Bethel somewhere in America
  • farm family
  • older brother, Willie/William (same soul as my son)
  • not close to parents
  • mischievous child, very taken with animals and felt very controlled by parents
  • moved to Bethel with Willie & his wife (same soul as my oldest niece, Tonya)
  • they had 5 boys
  • Joe remained a bachelor -- too shy to talk to a young woman from church who eventually married someone else
  • worked at a mill, early on manual labour, later on doing the books
  • escaped into reading about faraway places and adventures
  • died being thrown from a horse while crossing a bridge while watching an attractive woman on the stairs of a store on the left side of the road in late 40s

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Past life regression, thoughts on reincarnation, ghosts and other things

I have a past-life regression session scheduled for 10 a.m. with Catherine @ Journey Healers who I met at MEfest.

I thought some of you might be interested in what some of my beliefs are before I actually have the regression done.



re: making an appointment for the regression...

I have been wavering on this for awhile, because I have always been fascinated with past lives but I always thought the regressions were too out of reach (price wise) but Catherine offers an hour for a very reasonable $25.


I have an acquaintance/friend, Ang, whom I quite like and feel comfortable with who is a BodyTalk practitioner and I heard from her the other day that she knows Catherine and she agreed that since I am interested in my past lives that I should go see Catherine


When it comes to more alternative health and lifestyle choices and practitioners, I really rely on a combination of my gut instincts coupled with personal recommendations (if possible).

On my childhood re: spirituality and influences

I can remember reading the Narnia series on my own when I was in grade school (Grade 3 or Grade 4) and that's what first actually made me believe in something other than Christianity.

I also remember making what I considered "deals" with the Universe or God (when I still believed in the version of God I was taught within the United Church) as well as praying.

And I would make up rhymes and recite them under my breath or in my head over and over because I believed that would give me the outcome I wanted.

Sometimes I have found myself drawn very deeply into my beliefs and just as often, they've freaked me out and I've fled... ignored them, pretended that it was all in my head, that I was crazy or wishful or just plain silly.

It's actually somewhat similar to the love-hate relationship I've had with my body.  I either connect and resonante and seem to tune into the synchronicity of the universe or I hide myself away and willing put on blinders because I have a deep-set fear of success as well as a fear of failure that rage war within me and have done so for as long as I can remember).

I've always had "vibes" and gut instincts. 

I was raised in a home and a family that wasn't overly into religion but very much believed in psychic abilities, ghosts and the supernatural, life on other planets (and UFOs), luck and superstition.

When I met my biological maternal side of the family, my Grandmother was (and still is) very much a believer in what she learned in the Catholic church  but there is still a strong belief in psychic abilities and ghosts and supernatural contact (including family members who have had experiences).

So not only was I raised in a way that made this way of thinking normal to me, it also runs in my biological family.

My late Mom used to tell me that when I was a baby, she remembered one night where she had me up for a 2 a.m. feeding and suddenly it got so bright outside that it was like day time and then brighter still, so she couldn't really see and then, just as suddenly, it got dark again and she said she saw something zip across the sky outside the window and disappear.

Yep, she saw a UFO.

re: experiences as a teen with different beliefs

My Dad took me to my first psychic fair when I was 16 years old.  I was fascinated by it.  And many of the psychics took time to speak to me, stating that I shouldn't be attending the fair but should be honing my skills and being someone working the fair once I was older and more balanced within myself.

In fact, every time I have been to a psychic, a fortune teller or a Tarot card reader as well as the two times I went to try a Reiki treatment - this has occurred.

In either Grade 10 or 11 I had an experience.  I was brushing my hair in front of the mirror in my bedroom when suddenly, as if in a mere moment, a rush of images came to me... different eras, different genders, different lifetimes yet, somehow -- all me.

There was a very dark-skinned black woman and her lower jaw was extended with what looked like a clam shell.

There was another woman with what looked like multi-coloured bracelets which elongated her neck.

A Scottish man, smoking a pipe and looking at the sky. Feeling happy or content.

A barefoot girl, milking a cow.

A scared boy, hiding in the dark and the smell of smoke.

An Asian woman (not a Geisha), bowing her head and ignoring laughter.

A beautiful blonde woman, who was awash in feelings sadness and hopelessness.

I can't remember more than that so many years later but that was kind of the gist of it.

I do think that was the first time I ever really thought about past lives and reincarnation beyond more than a fleeting comment calling it "interesting."

When I sort of came into myself - I looked at my alarm clock and it was an hour later.

I wrote a poem about the experience and then a couple of follow up poems (if I get inspired, I'll see if I can dig any of them up)

This is also when I first recall reading about Witchcraft.


re: experiences with ghosts

My ex-boyfriend, B. and I went to a party at his friend's house and stayed over.  I had a terrifying experience where I saw a strange figure (I still feel to this day that it was a demon rather than some strange ghost) and it exuded such malice and evil that I could barely breathe.

I could not move and I could not wake my boyfriend.

In the morning, I was told that the house was haunted and had been for years but no one had encountered anything as scary as I had.

Then there was the haunted barn in Mannheim where I went with my soul sister, C. and some of our other friends.

I saw a vision of a boy being run over and crushed by the wheels of a wagon.  This was before I met my birth family.

Years later, I saw that boy in some old photographs that my maternal grandmother had.

He would have been her great or great-great uncle.  And that is how he died.

A number of years after that, after my Dad died... My sister and her daughter encountered my Dad after they were involved in a major car accident.

Their car was totaled when they were stopped at the stop sign at the end of their street when they were coming to visit my Mom and myself.  

Mom and I were at home watching an episode of "Unsolved Mysteries" and we were talking about a segment about angels.

My sister finally phoned and told us what had happened and she told us that she and her daughter both saw my Dad walk through their living room and then disappear.

My niece was quite young at that time.  But my former brother-in-law and my nephew didn't feel, see or sense anything.

Now for me, late one night in 1996 (3 yrs after my Dad died) I heard my Dad yell at me and I saw him at the side of the road.  I pulled over and right afterwards, a car came squealing out, drove OVER the median and then straight through a red light - right where I would have been if I had not pulled over to the side of the road.

The last time I saw or heard my Dad was when I was in labour with my son and things were going very badly and I was wheeled in for my emergency c-section.

my thoughts re: reincarnation

When my son was born, my Mom was convinced from the get-go that he was the reincarnation of my Dad.

After my Mom died, one Sept 14th (my Dad's birthday) I was driving home from daycare with my son and he asked me when he was "going to be married again" and I said he hadn't been married and he replied that yes he had and said that he "was married to Grandma Hackett BEFORE I was a baby!"

Now, in his 9th year, he still sometimes talks about or asks about "the baby world" which is the place where he lived before he was a baby and chose me to be his Mom.

One thing that's different for me is that I don't so much believe in soul MATES but I do believe in what I call soul GROUPS

I have believed for well over a decade that groups of people tend to choose to reincarnate with the goal of re-connecting with one another in their new lives.

I feel that these people are involved for us for various reasons, and usually because we learn and grow and evolve from having them in our lives, whether or not they are a catalyst to us via positive or negative measures is debatable though I tend to feel that most would be positive.

thoughts re: Reiki

I have had two different experiences with Reiki... my first was at a place called Wisdom Whispers (which now has a new website and only one of the two people I met involved with it from what I can tell).

I went with two of my girlfriends for a free demonstration/session and it was very interesting and very different.

The second time... hell, at the moment I am blanking on the woman's name but I went to her and I thought it was going great, I was feeling great but then she stepped a bit beyond what I am personally comfortable believing in.

She talked about me being an Indigo which is something I had already been reading about and then, she told me that her guide had something I needed to be told even though I was not likely to believe it.

I was told that I was what she called, a StarSeed.

Anyway, I think that covers a lot of what I wanted to fill people in on before I go for the session tomorrow.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Thoughts on the journey

I ought to be in bed, but I needed to post.

I came down to look up what season of "Castle" is currently on the air since I recently watched S1 and S2 on DVD that one of my BFFs lent me.

While down here, I - of course - had to check out some of the blogs I follow.

I may not always comment but I so often identify with what you are writing and feeling and experiencing.

Tonight was a bit polarizing. Posts about the journey, posts about self-sabotage, posts about self-realizations - some positive, some fearful. Posts about making changes not just physically but mentally, emotionally.

Finding the strength in yourself to do things you haven't done before.

I am not going to link anyone since it's been a bit of a theme across a number of the blogs I read through this account as well as through non-weight-related blogs I read through my personal blog (which doesn't get much attention from me).

So I have to say this.

Recognizing what you've done in the past can go one of two ways. Either history repeats itself OR you carve a new path and each day, you ingrain that new pathway into yourself further so that instead of it being something overgrown where you might get lost, eventually - you will find your way to the destination you seek.

I believe in change.

I believe that every person has the power and ability to tune into the synchronicity of the universe so that things start to fall into place and that what we once struggled with can come naturally once we reach the right mindset.

I gave up before.

In 2006 I got down to 206.8 lbs and I gave up. Yes, there were other things that happened that had an impact in my unvoiced choice to give up, but I have to accept the responsibility for what happened.

Plus, my attitude back then was so negative and full of demeaning self-talk. I was exercising but I hadn't even attempted any REAL changes to my diet.

I was still drinking on the weekends when Son was with my ex and not always in moderation.

I wasn't really committed to changing, I just disliked so much of myself and my life that I thought if I got thin that everything would get better.

But it's not about getting thin to fix my life this time, or to find a new way to hide myself or re-invent myself.

This time, it's about making my body reflect my healthier attitude about my life.

Even with the bitching and common annoyances, I love Hubs. He's a good man and I am happy we found each other back in '07.

Even with the challenges, I love our kids. Yes, Son's behavioural issues re: autism and Step-Daughter's behavioural issues re: ADHD can be a challenge and then let's not forget my little sadist, Baby Girl, she of the biting, the pinching and the sleepless nights.

But I love them all.

And, the big thing, the thing I sometimes forgot in the past is a biggie -- I love myself.

I am a good person.

I care about people; I'm honest; I'm friendly; I'm funny (though not always on purpose) and a multitude of other things that make me who I am.

A person.

A good person, like I said before.

And it doesn't mean I have to be fat OR thin to be a good person.

And I don't have to try to hide myself or protect myself with extra flesh -- I can just get to where I am meant to be.

I am not going to be fat forever because the more weight I gained, the more I felt I lost my connection to my true self.

I'm not sure what weight I'll end up at, but I think I'll feel it when I'm where I should be.

So kudos and my love and support to everyone getting to where they want to be - no matter how long the journey may be.

We can all do this.

And we can do it for the love of OURSELVES.

I love myself enough to choose to be healthier, day by day, week by week, month by month and year by year.

Why?

Because I deserve to be healthier and because I can choose to do this for MYSELF.

It makes me think of that whole airplane spiel... take care of yourself before you take care of someone else re: the masks and protective equipment in case of an emergency.

Well, I've been taking care of someone else since I had Son in 2002. And even before that, I was always the type to put other people first.

I still tend to do that.

The difference is that now I've realized I need to acknowledge my own needs and that I do need to make myself a priority in my own life.

It's the right thing to do. And it is NOT selfish (which is how I used to feel).

And I am doing it!