So, what happens when the breast-feeding ends?

I saw a video on youtube and it brought to mind something I was thinking about around 3:30 a.m. when I was up breast-feeding Baby Girl.

When I stop breast-feeding entirely -- will the weight start creeping back?

I have concerns about the performance of my thyroid functions because with my increased activity and decreased caloric intake, I think I really ought to be losing weight faster than I am when you actually factor in the breast-feeding.

So I am worried about what will happen when I stop.

Son was weaned at about 16 months when I got really sick and was put on steroids and antibiotics so I had to stop breast-feeding.

I know Baby Girl is only 8 months old but she's been on solids for awhile - Son didn't start solids until he was 9 months.

So I do wonder what will happen when I stop breast-feeding...

And now for that ad I saw on youtube...

Here it is!

Owwie, owwie, OW! My boobs hurt!

Yep.

I said it.

My boobs HURT!

Baby Girl has been very... shall we say... BITEY lately!

She's already horrible for pinching but add the biting on top and I am shocked that my girls are not black and blue!

When Son was breast-feeding (oh so many years ago) when he bit, I would say, "Ow! That hurts!" Then I would remove him from my breast and say, "No" in a stern voice.

He stopped.

Baby Girl looks at me, smiles and then LAUGHS.

Apparently I am raising a cute, tiny, 4-toothed sadist.

*sigh*

Finally weighed myself - Day 93

I'm getting to the point of trying a laxative if nothing "gets moving" by today.

weight: 245.0

A lowly 0.4 loss in a week but still better than a gain.

Have decided to start counting the days I've been working on my health - I've seen that a number of bloggers do it and it might be a good idea for me as well.

So that averages out to a 0.35 loss per day or a 2.45 lb loss per wk (7 days)

Going to TO today for my naturopath appointment.  One of my BFFs and I have our appointments on the same day so that we can travel there together.

Last time with our appt length and travel and traffic, my boobs were KILLING me by the time we got back and Baby Girl was a veritable terror for her her Daddy, my poor Hubs.

So this time, Baby Girl is coming with us so I can breast feed her as needed.

No idea what Hubs will get up to today but I'd be pleasantly surprised to see the house significantly cleaner and tidier by the time I get home, though I will not be holding my breath.

Last night

I slept like complete shit.

Baby Girl was up every couple of hours. Hubs was horny and having a hard time sleeping because I was too tired for any "adult fun". And I was having completely whacked out dreams.

You'd have thought I'd been consuming illegal substances or was really, really drunk or SOMETHING had you been able to join me in my dreamscape last night.

I'm sitting here, listening to the coffeemaker in the kitchen and Baby Girl babbling happily to herself while the silly orange cat is attacking a purple crayon and Hubs is out walking the hairy beast.

Son is quietly playing with Lego.

And I need to eat something (or drink a smoothie).

But instead, here I am - reading and blogging.

I think Hubs is afraid this is an obsession for me or something. I mean I use a food scale, I write down what I eat if I am not near a com to add it to my food diary on http://www.fatsecret.com and I am slowly taking off weight while also slowly increasing my activity level.

I worry about having milk issues quite a bit now that Baby Girl has started on some solids and have been debating whether or not I should try the Organic MilkMaid Tea that I have not needed to open yet.

And I've been thinking about http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_dysmorphic_disorder a lot. It's something I was talking to my therapist about back in 2009 and I've noticed some other bloggers talking about it as well.

I seriously thought it was only me.

I know, I know - how ridiculous. It's so strange to me that so many other bloggers and dieters and lifestyle changers have similar feelings and experiences.

My life so far has kind of taught me to view myself as an oddity because there have not often been others in my life who could relate.

Well, welcome to the internet.

Call me naive but I really had no idea that this time around, I wouldn't feel as "alone" in my journey.

So - to those who are helping me - even if they don't realize it - Thank you!