General catching up

Last night was the annual general meeting at the co-op I live in.

I think it went fairly well (although I did miss a chunk of the meeting while helping to count votes for the elections we needed to do).

We elected 5 new people to our Board of Directors (I am into my 4th year of serving on the board and am, once again, the President of the BOD) and our first board meeting with the new Directors is slated for the evening of Baby Girl's 1st birthday.

Today I made it out to the rec centre with 1G1D1Y and M. (and her smiley little man).  They did a hell of a lot of stairs and some walking and I did a good chunk of walking plus a measly 210 stairs (only counting going up the stairs and not down).

I ran one lap but my pants kept falling down, they were even sliding a bit when I was coming up the stairs.

Note to self:  retire any of my exercise pants that are XL - stick with the Ls!

Later this evening, our insurance adjuster is coming to pick up our claim-related paperwork.

You see, part of the way my anxiety and panic "presents" is me having a large issue doing paperwork.   S-girl and 1G1D1Y and even K. can attest to the fact that I am the worst person EVER for procrastinating on things involving paperwork.

Once S-girl did 4 or 5 years of my tax returns at once because I'd just ignored them for so long -- I got back a nice chunk of change, but I just really, really REALLY hate paperwork like that.

It's also, in part, why I ignored the advice of my friend (who was also my therapist for awhile) re: filing for disability when I was morbidly obese on top of my mental health issues (panic disorder, anxiety disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, depression and agoraphobia specific to crowds).

You see, the idea of having to submit details about my life for approval or even review makes me want to punch someone.

It makes me antsy and nervous and frankly, freaks me the hell out.

So I've been dragging my feet re: the paperwork re: the fire claim because it brings back all the stress and anxiety I was feeling at that time and compounds it.

Did any of you follow that?  Or did you just sort of nod to yourself that I can be a bit of a nutter?

Strangely - even WRITING (just now) about how that makes me feel has my neck and shoulder throbbing, my head aching and my heart palpitating.

*sigh*

Tomorrow, barring scads of snow, 1G1D1Y and I are off to see Dr. W.

It will be Son's first Kung Fu class on a Saturday (he switched class dates and times when he advanced to his solid orange belt) and then he's off to his father's.

I'm still struggling to find a good routine for getting things done around the house - and I'm hoping Hubs and I can really sort something out so we can really make a difference around here.

Step-Daughter and Son would probably both greatly benefit from a more orderly household, plus we'd really like to get them used to a happier and more organized home.

With Hubs and I both being the so-called favoured or spoiled youngest ones in our families (not counting my birth family of course) - neither of us were raised to take care of ourselves or our possessions or our areas of control (rooms, bookcases etc) and we don't want Step-Daughter, Son or Baby Girl having these same difficulties when they grow up.

But what is it to be "grown up?"

I still feel pretty young on the inside...