Sometimes I wonder...

Well, here's what it is.

Sometimes I wonder if I will ever be OK about spending money on clothes. After I hit 200 lbs in 2002, I sort of made a moratorium on buying clothes.

Why?

Because I wasn't going to stay that size.

Eventually, you have to cave and buy some things. And when I was pregnant with Baby Girl, I had to buy some things, but I was OK with things emphasizing my stomach because I wanted people to see that I was pregnant and not "just obese" if you know what I mean.

But I am still wearing some of that stuff now.

I still can't fit into the size 14 stuff I have kicking around from 2006 when I got down to 206 (or was it 208?) lbs but the in-between things I had in size 18s got worn out and tossed as my weight climbed back up but my larger stuff doesn't fit well or look flattering either.

I have, very reluctantly, donated a few of my larger pieces. Reluctantly because I get afraid that if I get rid of those clothes I will need them again because -- it's happened before.

And yet I still have hung onto a lot of my old "club" clothes that I haven't been able to wear in at least a decade even though my goal weight is probably still a little high to squeeze into those items.

Ahh nostalgia. You screw with me periodically.

At the moment, I do not want to buy anything for this size but I am also intimidated by the idea of buying a "goal outfit."

I've watched "The last 10 lbs boot camp" on Slice and these girls, who are far skinnier than I am, are nervous about buying goal outfits and yet, they always fit into them.

However; they go on what I see as restrictive DIETS -- not lifestyle changes meant to last for the long haul.

So, how do I buy a goal outfit?

Frankly, it almost terrifies me.

And yet i have heard that it's great to have that sort of goal.

Can I cheat and just pick something of my own that doesn't fit now (or doesn't fit comfortably/attractively)?

Thoughts?